The Wandering Falcon and the man who saw it.

My trip to the Jaipur Literature Festival, 2013 was one of the most memorable ones I have ever had. I was there with my some of closest friends, I had a brilliant time and at this event I met the most wonderful and awe inspiring people. The first session I attended was The Wandering Falcon with Jamil Ahmad, a retired Pakistani Civil servant who was the author of this beautiful work on the lives of the tribal people of Afghanistan and Pakistan. While he described his work to a hopeless moderator, I saw the brutal and heart wrenching beauty of his work..I saw it even before I read it..solely by the way he described it. Seldom have I had such a great urge to read a book. I ran and brought the book within minutes of the session's conclusion. 

Then I became greedy..what if I could get him to sign it. Wouldn't this copy become priceless then..I gathered my courage to step into the corridor and go stand to next to the man. I was in complete awe of him. He was sitting there on a teak chair, smoking a cigarette and giving interviews to ladies from news channels who sounded or tried to sound familiar with him. He glanced at me and the book in my hand. Then he smiled and said, "Give me a moment.", I smiled back sheepishly and mumbled something like "Its absolutely fine Sir". He then wrapped up the conversation with these woman sounding a little irritated as their questions seemed to have lost the point. As the crew took his leave, he then turned to me and said, "I am sorry, I shouldn't be smoking in your company." and before I could protest he rubbed and extinguished the cigarette in his white bone china ash tray. Its been a while I have met such a gentleman. He then smiled and asked for the book. Then he looked up at me and asked my name. In that moment I realized that I had never seen such eyes as his. Like he had entire galaxies in them, I can not describe their color. A hue of jade green, a hue of grey and even a tinge of yellow. He had they eyes you'd never forget once they had met yours.

When he had autographed my book, I leaned down on one knee and asked him about how he felt about the attempted modernization of the tribal people. He said. "Lets get a chair for you. Sit comfortably and then we shall talk." I stopped him from and told him that I don't want to take too much of his time and that I was perfectly comfortable.After my repeated assurances, he gave up. Then he told me how he felt about these people and how he felt that their way of life was an inseparable part of their identity. And how we should not judge other people's happiness and state by our own parameters. How modernization tramples upon a lot of things in its visionary path ahead. He seemed like a man from a different world and a different time. He asked me if I felt the same about the tribal people in India and I confessed that even though I thought that intervening in their lives was a bad idea, I had never really given this subject a very serious thought before today. He nodded and said, it was understandable taking in account the fact their world seems to be a different one from ours so the sense of disconnect is natural. While we were talking, another journalist came up for an interview. He asked her if she could come after sometime as he was talking to me. I can not express the surprise I felt. This man was ready to put off a formal professional interview for a conversation with a stupid woman who knew nothing. I felt an overwhelming sense of respect for him and I decided not to trespass on his kindness. So I took his leave. He said it was no issue and that the journalist lady will not mind coming later. But I told him I wanted to meet him again someday hopefully, after I had read this book and realized his perspective completely. He smiled and said alright. "Then I hope to see you again after you've read it" handing the book back to me which had comfortably rested in his lap all the while we were talking, like a child in the lap of her father. I took it gratefully and hoped that I would see him again.

He left a lasting impression on me, both in terms of the man he was and the book he wrote. And as I saw his name in the obituary today. I felt the loss to be almost personal. I felt deeply saddened. The world always suffers an irreparable loss when a great writer dies. And in the past few months, this loss has been too much.Though I felt very sad at the passing away of Marquez and Gordimer, the death of Jamil Ahmed understandably brought me greater sorrow. For I had sincerely harbored the hope of meeting him again and telling him how much I loved his book and how fiercely I had come to agree with his point of you. The conversation I had with him is and will always be one of the most memorable conversations of my life.

I hope he is resting in peace. 

She

Story of a Night

My dream sat on a drifting cloud
To have a word with the moon
Sang the loony song aloud
Surrendering too soon.

My hope sailed on a drowning ship
To reach the silver shore
The waters reaching down to rip
The happily ending lore.

A temple lies in ruins now
That God died a while ago
The mortals said they couldn't allow
His tombstone below.

A ghost packed up his smoke and laugh
And left the haunted house
Left some cheese on his behalf
To console the lonely mouse. 

Tailless

 PART 1

Before Tangles was born, her father was absolutely sure of him being a boy. He was jublious about becoming a father and nothing could convince him that he would be a father to anything less than a son. Mighty preparations were made for the welcome of the family’s heir. However, the would-be mother was scared and uncertain. She could hold with such conviction as her husband, the fact that her unborn child was a boy. What if the baby is a girl. What fate awaits her then?

And with the birth of Tangles, her mother’s fears were realized. As the little baby girl slept blissfully in her cradle, a grim shadow of gloom fell upon the family. It hovered over them for about a day, when suddenly the next morning, the father went up to the cradle, took the baby in his arms and said, “Its no matter. She will have the longest tail. Longer than mine or my father’s. This I’m sure of. She shall be the glory of this family.”

But as years went by, it became evident that Tangles would not have the longest tail, simply because she did not have one at all.

Every child would develop a little tail by second year of birth. A tail which steadily grew in length thereon and which would be the glory mark of every kid and his family. Different children had different kinds of tails. Of various colors and types and lenghths. The grandness of this tail was directly proportional to madness of the proud parents. Some children had a long and strong tail, like that of a panther. Others had furry or feathery ones. A lucky few even developed a peacockish tail, brilliant, huge and fancy. The parents of these fortunate children would almost twitch in pride.

All of Tangle’s family members had exemplary tails. Her parents. Aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. So when it became apparent that this child was tailless, the graveness of the calamity that befell the family could not have been described.

A lot of endeavors were made to aid Tangles grow a tail. From medicine to magic, everything was tried. It was a matter of great shame for the family to have a child, that too a daughter, without a tail. To their exasperation and utter disappointment, nothing worked. However in the meantime something was happening to Tangles. Her ears, unusually large, even at birth, were continuing to grow larger. By the time, she had to start school, they were as large as the palm of her hands.

The father couldn’t believe his misfortune. First, a daughter, then tailless and then with such funny, ridiculous, flappy and large ears! He could never have imagined that his firstborn will cause him such agony. She had taken away from him the joy of being a father, a proud father. All that people ever did was laugh at her. They were amused and bewildered at how different she looked. He was so distraught by these instances that he grew increasingly distant from her. There came a time when he stopped acknowledging her presence and in case he was forced to do so, he would react with anger and irritation. Tangles, though an incredibly loving and affectionate child had by now begun to understand that she would have to stop craving for the love of her father and any sort of friendship from the society. By the tender age of six, she had realized that she was an anomaly, an unwelcome misery and an outcast. Her classmates looked down upon her and laughed at her and her teachers treated her as invisible. The only person that loved her unconditionally was the mother. She was her only refuge, the only person who knew that though Tangles did not have a tail, her ears were very special in their own way. While the rest could only hear, Tangles could listen. She could listen to the music that others were deaf to.

 She was not defective, she was different.

Advice.. :)

Don't carry forward...

The darkness of one night, into the light of another dawn

The despair of one tear, into the hope of another smile

The pain of one betrayal, into the balm of another trust

The longing of someone's presence, into the arms of another embrace

Everyday is a new day, every person is a new person.

Give them a new, and yourself, another chance.

Agrasen ki Baoli and Random Rantings.

It has been seven summers and six winters in Delhi, and somehow I never felt the urge to explore Delhi. I almost took its presence for granted in my life. The city as such is indifferent to my presence or absence. As I and Ankita talked about this among various things. Our nature of taking things for granted. Family, friends, lovers, cities and even our own selves. Absence, in this case is the only way to make someone realize the importance of what no more is or will no more be.

I am about to say goodbye to this city. Not completely though. I'll probably make frequent trips but I doubt I'll get to live here anywhere in near future.And that is somewhat disappointing. Delhi has taught me a lot in its own ways. I have experienced some of my life's happiest moments and some unforgivable despairs. Good times give you great memories,bad times give you something more important. Lessons.

And I am thankful for them, truly, eternally thankful.

Today was a good day. I spent it with one of my closest friends. Ankita.
Being with her is like putting your feet in pleasant, calm and cool waters on a hot summer day. Soothing, blissful, relaxing and happy. But the depths of these waters are way beyond your comprehension. Its easy to play on the surface. Going beyond requires courage.
I have known her for more than an year now. I have seen her in her various moods and masks. I have seen her grow. I have seen her bloom and wither. I have seen her love and hatred, her foolishness and wisdom, her smiles, laughter and tears, her passion and passivity. I have seen her coming of age. And I have a sort of sacred respect for her.

We strolled around in CP for a while, and because of my damned troubled foot, we couldn't get anymore creative than to have lunch at Mc. Donalds. After munching on burgers and gulping bad coffee, she suggested that we go and see Ugrasen ki Baoli. Google maps helped us find the place for the autowallahs were not really aware that such a place existed.

We loved it. Forgive our misanthropy, but barring the presence of people there, it was a great experience. Who would have thought during this great benevolent king's time that something as regular and casual, as a baoli would be a protected monument under the ASI. Time changes the significance of people, things, events and time itself. Tomorrow can turn glory into dust, anonymous into God, hurt into laughter, laughter into lament. Tomorrow seems to have all the power of us. Tomorrow is hope, tomorrow is also fear.

Ankita commented on how poorly the place was maintained. I had to agree. This  could have been much more. She told me about the proposal of getting this structure demolished because it was interfering with the proposed metro plan. It scares me sometimes, the pace with which the new world moves ahead to leave the old world behind.

The pigeons were beautiful. They had made themselves comfortable claiming the arcades and other rooms. Each finding its own personal corner. Every now and then they'd take a flight in unison and soar above us in circles before coming back. It was while we observed them, that we realized how each one of them was so individual and unique in its nature. Some preferred a private corner, some in pairs and some in gregarious noisy parties. All of them delightful to watch.

We went down the flight of stone steps which were kind of tricky, especially because my foot thought so. Ankita consoled me blaming it on incapable and clumsy architects of the time. We could now hear bats. Hundreds of them, screeching. But they seemed to be less annoying and noisy than the people around us. Ankita said even the pigeons must be prefering the "chamgadad bhais" to these people. Shouting, hooting, posing for their facebook profile pictures. Infact, pardon my saying so, but it seemed that most of the homo sapiens had come their only for the sake of getting some activity up on facebook. As you notice, I am also doing it in a way. No offence, just observation. :D

We climbed down and crawled through to make our way to what turned out to be the bottom of the well which supplied water to the baoli. It felt strange standing there. At the bottom of an empty well, looking up at the sky above us. For a second, I felt depressed and trapped and suffocated. The next moment it seemed crazy and strange. Its funny how much consequence or the lack of it can manifest itself only by the way we view certain things. Did it matter that we were standing at a place which once used to be a busy well? Did it matter that all around us there were little plants growing out of the stone walls? We felt inspired and awed at their tenacity. The plants obviously did not care about our opinions.

After that we went to India Habitat Centre to have a miserable cup of coffee. The only bad thing about this day. Bad Coffee.

I felt sad saying goodbye to her today, but I loved this day. It shall forever remain a very happy and cherished memory. I wish we had spent more days like these. I came home in a much better state of mind than I was in when I had left. I hope it did her some good as well. Nothing looks more beautiful on her face than a genuine smile.

And to put the perfect end to this day. It rained and my coaching announced a surprise holiday tomorrow. I shall probably sleep in peace tonight.

Thank you Good People..

Life with all its blows and bumps is still a journey we lovingly take.. and that is because some fellow travelers make it worth taking the pains.. Here are some of the travelers who deserve a special mention..

Ankita 

Beneath that bubbly and bindaas exterior is a woman with extraordinary grace and poise. Rising from ashes like a phoenix and the world would never come to know about the scars. You have loved me enough to humble my being. I am awfully glad to have you. I hope I get to do more "Toofani" stuff with you in future. And I hope you soar to unconquered heights. You have a priceless heart buddy! I'll miss you terribly.





Shilpa

I found some part of myself in you. Your presence in my life has taught me priceless lessons. In that so called "tiny" frame, is such an unbelievable amount of courage and grit and substance, that it leaves me awestruck. With you I have learnt how to value things in life. With you I have learnt how to stand up in the face of all aridity and disenchantment.You are priceless and I hope I have a friend in you for life. You'll be dearly missed.















Krittika

Yeah I had unforgivable misconceptions about you in the beginning, and I am still surprised at how awfully wrong I was. You are such a wonderful wonderful human being ladki. Such grace, such composure, such compassion and such beauty. I feel proud that you are my friend. You have inspired me so much. You bring in sunshine and rainbows with you wherever you go. And you have the most enchanting voice. Just know that you have a friend in me for life. You are deeply cherished.





Ipsita

Innocence personified. I have hardly ever come across a human being like you in life. You have so much love and so much compassion in that little heart of yours that it drowns the creatures you bestow it upon. I wish the absolute best for you. And I know you'll do great in life. Just never cease to be the little angel that you are. I love you.






Debalina

You have no idea how much respect I have for you. You are such a graceful and hard working person. You'll laugh, crack jokes, have all the fun and still beneath that I perceive is a quiet girl with little dreams. And I'm mighty sure that all of them will come true. You'll always be an achiever. And I'll always be proud of you.






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Ekka

What do I say room neighbor, except that.. "Whatever would I have done without you!" You light up my day lady. And you bring life to this often sorry place. You're out and out a STAR! And you'e sure to rock it! You have been my first friend in college and I have been very fortunate. Just be yourself and world is yours. God bless you. Now and always.










Nikita

One awe inspiring lady you are. Truly a woman of substance. Thank you for all the pains you have taken in this while and for everything you have done for us and the college. I wish I had got to know you better. But nonetheless you should know how amazing you are and how much success is waiting just round the corner for you. Be brave. Be Proud. Be Happy. And Always... Be yourself.






Mani

I should have probably made better friends with you because its undoubted that you are going to make it really big. :D Jokes apart.. You are a great person Mani and I love the life in you. I've seen the different shades in you, the different sides and layers.. And I have loved all of them. The world belongs to you love. Go take it. Nothing will stop you from achieving your dreams. Wish you the best!!










Prashanti

Style diva.. You have never failed to surprise me. You are such a perfect balance of everything that you leave me wondering all the time. Its great to have been friends with you. I have had lovely times in your company. And I must confess I used to be all impressed with your absolutely logical arguments and point of views. In class or otherwise. May you have every single happiness that you are worthy of. And that means a lot and lot! I wish the best for you! Soar lady!




Aditi

You've redefined grace. Thank you Aditi for being there. And thank you for maintaining your cool and composure in really trying times. I hope life has the most wonderful things for you in store. Be the compassionate person you are but do not let the world take you for granted. Ever. Take Care. :)












Indrani

You're beautiful. Its true. In every single way. Stay Blessed. I'll never forget your "Jaadu ki jhappis".









Ankit

One dude you are!  :D And I am so glad to have a friend in you. You'll achieve a lot in life Ankit. I'm absolutely sure of that. And the reason behind that would be the person you are. You have always been there. To listen, understand or lend a hand. And you have the cutest smile in the world! All the best buddy! :)








Nitin

I respect you with all my heart. I have seldom come across such good people with such wonderful hearts. I can't thank you enough for all your concern and all your best wishes. Your appreciation and encouragement has always mattered a lot. We've had good conversations and good time. I'll remember you very fondly. Always.










Aashish

You crack fellow! :D You are one amazing friend. You've been there for everybody. Try and be there for yourself as well. Always keep that smile on your face and keep the light of your soul alive. God bless you!












Rahul

Thank you Rahul for all the wonderful things you have said to encourage me and for all the times you have been there. Thank you. Wish you the very best!













Smrithin

Keep up your faith and stand tall. There's no stopping you. May you always be as popular and more. :D RTV's troubleshooter. May all your troubles be shot down. Glad to have known you buddy.















There are many more of you whose names though are not mentioned here, but have been equally important and precious to me. Thank you my friends for making this journey a memorable one. Truly Grateful! :)
Joy be with you!

And please let me have a picture of all of us together. :)