Tuesday, May 26, 2015

A Day in the Life of a Crabby Lunatic

Morning- Took Brandy out for her morning walk. Actually, on second thoughts, Brandy took me out for my morning walk. We roamed about stealthily in front of Jayantilal's house. Jayantilal.. is..well.. one of Brandy's many suitors. A mix of doberman and rhodesian with a missing front paw. But Brandy is a misoandrist when it comes to dogs. And a misanthrope in general. So yeah, anyway... she loathes Jayanti and rebuffs all his vain attempts to woo her. In short she doesn't give him any "bhow". The only love affair she ever had was with a furry white rhodesian some seven years back. She was young, naive and impressionable. Pa was against the match and "Majnu" was chased away. Brandy took a wow of celibacy that day. Though she is still attracted to German Shepherds but her over zealousness scares them away. I think its because of the German connection. She also prefers Volkswagen to any other automobile. This piece of German engineering, however, was engineered to hunt rabbits out of burrows. I think Brandy believes  that everyone except Ma, Pa and Shambhavi is a rabbit. And I am the most annoying rabbit of all.



While coming back, we saw a man drinking water from a pipe. Two wasps were dancing about him joyfully. The stings were imminent. When I told him to be careful, he smiled at me in a mocking sort of way. I thought maybe he is immune to wasp stings.

But he wasn't.


Brandy came home, ate breakfast and dozed off. It slightly strange to have Garfield for a dog.



Breakfast- Experimented with Tofu and white sauce. Turned out to be safe for human and dog consumption.

Post Breakfast- Read some random irrelevant stuff. Subramania Bharti knew 32 languages and Dayanand Saraswati was apparently poisoned by pieces of glasses mixed in his milk which caused internal injury and hemorrhage. Also, a whale fart bubble is big enough to enclose a horse. Yeah. Deal with that.  Did some aimless research on the royal family of Cooch behar as well.



Afternoon- A young wild pigeon paid us a visit. Flew inside. Hid behind the curtain in the drawing room. Turned out to be the pigeon version of Kangna Ranaut as Tanu. Chased it from fans to shelves to curtain rods for what seemed like an eternity. When I was finally able to catch it, ma was overcome with affection. So we cuddled the bird for a few minutes mumbling in the strange language the entire Singh parivar uses while cuddling animals and babies. The birdu calmed down after that. We released it soon after. Left us a treasure of down feathers.


Evening- Crashed into the teenager who aspires to be either in CBI or RAW though she pretends to want to be a tennis player. Got investigated about being out of sight, about Brandy's hostility to Nawab. the young male neighbor dachshund who fancies her, about our outing the previous night, about why the newspaper was not picked up by 7;30. Was finally rescued by two cherubic kids, Pavni and Pavitra, who wanted to play with Brandy (Brandy hates kids). There are very very few things I am able to take some pride in. Patience was one of them..WAS..until I met this lady.

Met Shrek, an adorable black spaniel with careless parents. Played with him and got him rid of some two dozen ticks. His parents were nowhere to be seen. Dear people, please don't keep pets if you can't take care of them.

Late Evening- Met a warm old lady in the park. Sat with her for a good hour and she told me about her family and her life here in Agra. It was such a joy to listen to her. She was wonderfully lively and cheerful. When we parted she told that at this stage of her life she feels that she shouldn't have taken a lot of things as seriously as she did. Including herself. I wanted to hug her but I thought it would creep her out so I didn't.

Night- Listened to a lot of POTF and Hozier. Made ma and pa laugh a lot. Oiled their hair while singing "Sar jo tera chakraye". Sang Brandy to sleep.


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