Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The Confluence

The politics keeps changing its name to Prayag, then Allahabad, then Prayag, then back to Allahabad. The Allahabadis couldn't care less. It doesn't change the pace of their easy life, doesn't give extra limbs to their standard ambitions, doesn't make them any more or less of the Hindus and Muslims they have been their entire quiet lives.
Sangam had always given her the answers. "Where the waters meet" she recalled the Sadhu's words. She went to the banks. It was unusually quiet. Her grandmother was saying her evening prayers. A few other souls were praying to the confluence to bless them. The Mahakumbh vibrated with chants and devotion of millions of people from all over the country. Washing their clothes and sins in the same silent waters. And the water goddess embraced them all, her beloved children coming for redemption and salvation or for the final rest.

She put her feet in the freezing waters. Strange what urgent devotion can do to human beings. Millions take their holy dips here not minding the coldness, not minding the filth, often religiously contributing to it. But faith is ever triumphant. Nothing happens to the devotee, except when stampedes happen.
The waters have got little to do with it.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Afternoon

He entered the room and saw her sleeping. Quietly, he took off his shoes so as to not make noise and wake her up. The afternoon was humid and oppressing. It was strangely calming to see her sleep peacefully for a change. Insomnia had ruined her life in ways more than one. He laid down next to her and felt the urge to hold her hand but checked himself. He really didn't want to wake her up. So he just decided to make do with looking at her, adoring her, listening to her breaths, marveling at her beauty.
Then she turned to the other side.

While he felt sad about not being able to adore her now, a gentle smile crawled on her lips. She had heard him come, take off his shoes and lay down next to her. She had heard his efforts to not wake her up. She had felt him looking at her. And she had felt very shy. She turned because she was afraid that he would see her blush.

In that moment, she had forgiven him for all that was past. She let go of everything that had given her ugly scars that wouldn't go. She felt it all fade into oblivion. 

After twenty six years of marriage, he had fallen in love with her.

Maybe its never too late.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The Wandering Falcon and the man who saw it.

My trip to the Jaipur Literature Festival, 2013 was one of the most memorable ones I have ever had. I was there with my some of closest friends, I had a brilliant time and at this event I met the most wonderful and awe inspiring people. The first session I attended was The Wandering Falcon with Jamil Ahmad, a retired Pakistani Civil servant who was the author of this beautiful work on the lives of the tribal people of Afghanistan and Pakistan. While he described his work to a hopeless moderator, I saw the brutal and heart wrenching beauty of his work..I saw it even before I read it..solely by the way he described it. Seldom have I had such a great urge to read a book. I ran and brought the book within minutes of the session's conclusion. 

Then I became greedy..what if I could get him to sign it. Wouldn't this copy become priceless then..I gathered my courage to step into the corridor and go stand to next to the man. I was in complete awe of him. He was sitting there on a teak chair, smoking a cigarette and giving interviews to ladies from news channels who sounded or tried to sound familiar with him. He glanced at me and the book in my hand. Then he smiled and said, "Give me a moment.", I smiled back sheepishly and mumbled something like "Its absolutely fine Sir". He then wrapped up the conversation with these woman sounding a little irritated as their questions seemed to have lost the point. As the crew took his leave, he then turned to me and said, "I am sorry, I shouldn't be smoking in your company." and before I could protest he rubbed and extinguished the cigarette in his white bone china ash tray. Its been a while I have met such a gentleman. He then smiled and asked for the book. Then he looked up at me and asked my name. In that moment I realized that I had never seen such eyes as his. Like he had entire galaxies in them, I can not describe their color. A hue of jade green, a hue of grey and even a tinge of yellow. He had they eyes you'd never forget once they had met yours.

When he had autographed my book, I leaned down on one knee and asked him about how he felt about the attempted modernization of the tribal people. He said. "Lets get a chair for you. Sit comfortably and then we shall talk." I stopped him from and told him that I don't want to take too much of his time and that I was perfectly comfortable.After my repeated assurances, he gave up. Then he told me how he felt about these people and how he felt that their way of life was an inseparable part of their identity. And how we should not judge other people's happiness and state by our own parameters. How modernization tramples upon a lot of things in its visionary path ahead. He seemed like a man from a different world and a different time. He asked me if I felt the same about the tribal people in India and I confessed that even though I thought that intervening in their lives was a bad idea, I had never really given this subject a very serious thought before today. He nodded and said, it was understandable taking in account the fact their world seems to be a different one from ours so the sense of disconnect is natural. While we were talking, another journalist came up for an interview. He asked her if she could come after sometime as he was talking to me. I can not express the surprise I felt. This man was ready to put off a formal professional interview for a conversation with a stupid woman who knew nothing. I felt an overwhelming sense of respect for him and I decided not to trespass on his kindness. So I took his leave. He said it was no issue and that the journalist lady will not mind coming later. But I told him I wanted to meet him again someday hopefully, after I had read this book and realized his perspective completely. He smiled and said alright. "Then I hope to see you again after you've read it" handing the book back to me which had comfortably rested in his lap all the while we were talking, like a child in the lap of her father. I took it gratefully and hoped that I would see him again.

He left a lasting impression on me, both in terms of the man he was and the book he wrote. And as I saw his name in the obituary today. I felt the loss to be almost personal. I felt deeply saddened. The world always suffers an irreparable loss when a great writer dies. And in the past few months, this loss has been too much.Though I felt very sad at the passing away of Marquez and Gordimer, the death of Jamil Ahmed understandably brought me greater sorrow. For I had sincerely harbored the hope of meeting him again and telling him how much I loved his book and how fiercely I had come to agree with his point of you. The conversation I had with him is and will always be one of the most memorable conversations of my life.

I hope he is resting in peace. 


Sunday, May 25, 2014

Story of a Night

My dream sat on a drifting cloud
To have a word with the moon
Sang the loony song aloud
Surrendering too soon.

My hope sailed on a drowning ship
To reach the silver shore
The waters reaching down to rip
The happily ending lore.

A temple lies in ruins now
That God died a while ago
The mortals said they couldn't allow
His tombstone below.

A ghost packed up his smoke and laugh
And left the haunted house
Left some cheese on his behalf
To console the lonely mouse. 

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Tailless

 PART 1

Before Tangles was born, her father was absolutely sure of him being a boy. He was jublious about becoming a father and nothing could convince him that he would be a father to anything less than a son. Mighty preparations were made for the welcome of the family’s heir. However, the would-be mother was scared and uncertain. She could hold with such conviction as her husband, the fact that her unborn child was a boy. What if the baby is a girl. What fate awaits her then?

And with the birth of Tangles, her mother’s fears were realized. As the little baby girl slept blissfully in her cradle, a grim shadow of gloom fell upon the family. It hovered over them for about a day, when suddenly the next morning, the father went up to the cradle, took the baby in his arms and said, “Its no matter. She will have the longest tail. Longer than mine or my father’s. This I’m sure of. She shall be the glory of this family.”

But as years went by, it became evident that Tangles would not have the longest tail, simply because she did not have one at all.

Every child would develop a little tail by second year of birth. A tail which steadily grew in length thereon and which would be the glory mark of every kid and his family. Different children had different kinds of tails. Of various colors and types and lenghths. The grandness of this tail was directly proportional to madness of the proud parents. Some children had a long and strong tail, like that of a panther. Others had furry or feathery ones. A lucky few even developed a peacockish tail, brilliant, huge and fancy. The parents of these fortunate children would almost twitch in pride.

All of Tangle’s family members had exemplary tails. Her parents. Aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. So when it became apparent that this child was tailless, the graveness of the calamity that befell the family could not have been described.

A lot of endeavors were made to aid Tangles grow a tail. From medicine to magic, everything was tried. It was a matter of great shame for the family to have a child, that too a daughter, without a tail. To their exasperation and utter disappointment, nothing worked. However in the meantime something was happening to Tangles. Her ears, unusually large, even at birth, were continuing to grow larger. By the time, she had to start school, they were as large as the palm of her hands.

The father couldn’t believe his misfortune. First, a daughter, then tailless and then with such funny, ridiculous, flappy and large ears! He could never have imagined that his firstborn will cause him such agony. She had taken away from him the joy of being a father, a proud father. All that people ever did was laugh at her. They were amused and bewildered at how different she looked. He was so distraught by these instances that he grew increasingly distant from her. There came a time when he stopped acknowledging her presence and in case he was forced to do so, he would react with anger and irritation. Tangles, though an incredibly loving and affectionate child had by now begun to understand that she would have to stop craving for the love of her father and any sort of friendship from the society. By the tender age of six, she had realized that she was an anomaly, an unwelcome misery and an outcast. Her classmates looked down upon her and laughed at her and her teachers treated her as invisible. The only person that loved her unconditionally was the mother. She was her only refuge, the only person who knew that though Tangles did not have a tail, her ears were very special in their own way. While the rest could only hear, Tangles could listen. She could listen to the music that others were deaf to.

 She was not defective, she was different.


Thursday, November 07, 2013

Advice.. :)



Don't carry forward...

The darkness of one night, into the light of another dawn

The despair of one tear, into the hope of another smile

The pain of one betrayal, into the balm of another trust

The longing of someone's presence, into the arms of another embrace

Everyday is a new day, every person is a new person.

Give them a new, and yourself, another chance.