That Awkward Moment

We all have our shares of awkward moments. Here are some of mine....

That awkward moment when you find out that your dog is allergic to you.

That awkward moment when you are singing D.K Bose, and your father tells you it meant "something bad" when he was young.

That awkward moment when you make that grunting noise while laughing and your beloved sister points it out. (in public)

That awkward moment when your father confesses that he thinks that you bear a strong resemblance to music director Pritam. (obviously now am not going to share his picture over here)

That awkward moment when you feel more like Bappi Da. Without the gold though.

That awkward moment when Linda Goodman describes your laughter as 200 perfect hens laying 200 perfect eggs, and your family nods in fierce agreement.

That awkward moment when the LCD of your laptop mysteriously turns blue, so every movie you watch is blue.

That awkward moment when it starts working fine when you accidentally pour alcohol over it.

That awkward moment when you are dancing, and your dog heaves a sigh, gives you the look and walks out of the room.

That awkward moment when you wake up on a super sleepy morning and brush your teeth with your father's shaving cream.

That awkward moment WHEN YOU DO IT AGAIN.

That awkward moment when your family doesn't need a mosquito repellent when you are sitting in the room. (because of some damned factor in your blood, the buzzing blood suckers prefer you over anybody else).

That awkward moment when you affectionately plead your defunct table lamp, microwave, water purifier and sandwich toaster to start working again and they oblige, immediately.

That awkward moment when you intelligent electrician divulges to you the wisdom that Plug and Socket are known as male and female respectively.

That awkward moment, when you are walking on the road and a donkey appears from nowhere stands right in your path and starts shaking his head as if he has just accepted your proposal of marriage.

That awkward moment when a random dog starts howling when he sees you, runs to you like Majnu to Laila and lies down at your feet, only for the pack of biscuits in your hand.

That awkward moment when you realize that all your crushes are either dead or octogenarians.

That awkward moment when you start coughing while pronouncing Vincent von Gogh.

That awkward moment when you are admiring a Picasso and someone tells you its Modigliani.

That awkward moment when your maggi mysteriously turns green.

That awkward moment when you pour "kevra jal" into the Chinese, instead of vinegar.

That awkward moment when you discover Rohini was Moon's wife and he had 27 of them.

That awkward moment when he tells you that you are his sunshine, and he is wearing his Ray Bans.

INCOMPLETE Chapter the Last

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8
Chapter 9

Six years later

The room was humbly furnished. A single bed, a few chairs and table, cupboard, bookshelves, and her puja. 

In the center among all the deities, was the daughter's picture. 

She was lost in thoughts in the midst of prayers.

"Pray to him, only when you remember him" Kaveri whispered in her ear.

She was still here. "When such bonds exist between two souls, they are never broken"
She had lived an year more than what the doctors had thought possible. She had agreed to get the treatment done but insisted that it was only the happiness that was carrying her through. She had healed every pain, she had taken away all the sorrow, all the agony. 

"Krishna"

Taarush was standing at the door smiling.

"I miss her terribly too"

She touched the picture lovingly "Why miss her? She's very much with us. Isn't she?"

They smiled at each other.

"Mr. and Mrs. Teotia have come. They wanted to meet you. They want to take Soumya home"

"Ah thats wonderful. I wanted to meet them as well. I'll come in a minute"

She went downstairs.

Taarush introduced her to the couple.

"Krishna, the life and breath of Jayant House" he said

"And his wife" she said smiling at him.

They laughed.

While they were talking, a child entered the room and sat next to Krishna, leaning her head on her arm.

"This is your daughter?"

"Yes, say hello to uncle baby"

"What's your name princess?" Mrs. Teotia affectionately inquired.

The child smiled shyly but proudly revealed

"Kaveri"

INCOMPLETE Chapter 9

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8

She could hear her heart thumping. All of her existence was to bring to life this very moment.
Taarush's word were still ringing in her ears and she still believed that what passed a little while before was a dream. Thing's couldn't turn out so bitter. Their bond wasn't one of blood today. But it was much more than that, it had transcended  lives to keep promises and answer prayers.
The room was humbly furnished. A single bed, a few chairs and table, cupboard, bookshelves, and her puja. She saw the father's photo kept in the center of all deities. She could almost hear her say. "You are my God Baba."
She imagined Kaveri in the room. Writing letters, reading books, praying, resting. It was impossible for her to imagine her old and frail and ill. It was a shattering feeling to come close to visualizing something close to that. memories came back. She closed her eyes. All answers, all questions were laid to rest.
"Beta" came a voice. She opened her eyes, not sure if her heart was beating anymore. She knew the voice.
She turned around and so did her world.
They stared at each other, with the same expression, with the same stunned mind and heart, with the same awe.
Neither moved.
In front of her was standing, the reason of her breaths, the reason why her soul survived the cosmic upheavals to be born again, the reason why all laws nature defines in its disciplines were defied to make reunite a father with his daughter.
She had wondered about her reaction, when she'd meet Kaveri, of how she would react to her grey hair and wrinkles, to her frail structure and weakness.
But nothing of the sort happened. To father's eyes a child will always be a child. He only saw his Kaveri. His beautiful angelic daughter standing in front of him.
She took a step forward. A tear appeared to witness the moment.
Kaveri remained where she was, silent and motionless. Had she recognized him?
It was too much for her. She came forward, touched her daughter's feet and embraced her, the world had to stop here. A few moments later the daughter embraced her back. They wept, one knowing and one unknowing of the miracles that had had woven their souls together.
Then she heard Kaveri laugh, they parted, she laughed as well.
"Strange things happen child. We just met and look at us.." she smiled and put a hand on her cheek.
"You reminded me of someone. I cant say why or how. For a moment I felt he was standing right here in front of me"
"Your Father?"
She looked stunned." How do you know?"
"ah nothing, just a guess. Did Taarush tell you...?"
"Yes yes he did, come sit."
The sat opposite each other.
"Children are hardly interested in their grand parents these days. How come you know about your great grand father and his friend?"
she hardly had an answer "Well, I was going through an old album one day, when I found Sayadev and Meera in one of the..."
She laughed, just like she used to "You call your Great grand parents by name beta?"
she fumbled for some explanation.
"Its ok dont worry, yes your Great grand father and my father were great great friends. Very fond of each other. You are Janmejay's grand daughter?"
"Yes."
"How is he, I never met your family after... after Baba passed away"
"Yes, Gradma told me, Dada passed away almost a decade back"
"Am sorry to hear that"
Kaveri was just the same, her tone, her manner, her disposition. Nothing had changed.
"Your father, you were very attached to him I believe"
Kaveri was silent, then she wiped off a tear..
"were attached?" she smiled "I am still very attached to him. He meant everything to me child. He had been my mother, father, sibling, friend, guide.. everything. When such bonds exist between two souls, they are never broken."
It was her turn to wipe the tear.
"You are a very sensitive child. Whats your name waise? Taarush didn't even tell me"
She fell silent.
"What happened beta. Are you alright?'
"Yes. I think I'll have some water."
"Wait I'll get you. I shall make you some tea as well. Calm down."
She went across to the table to fetch the water.
"Acha tell me, what sort of tea do you like? Adrak wali banaoo?
"Elaichi wali... Kadak"
The glass fell down.
She got up, they faced each other again. This time both knew the miracle.

"Baba" she gasped and fell on her kness.

INCOMPLETE Chapter 8

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7

She waited in the drawing room. Things had changed with time. She was having constant visions now. Clear and coherent. The pictures aided them. The Kumbh of 1942, the stampede, she could even recall being trampled upon by hundreds of feet. It made her breathless. She only thanked God that she had not taken Kaveri along.
When Sumitra had died, Jayant had promised her that he would never leave Kaveri's side, he would always stand by her and take care of her. He couldn't keep his promise then, but he'll keep it now, almost 60 years after he had left the chapter incomplete.
Taarush came in, she had told him, she was Kaveri's distant relative and family freind. She had names to prove it.
"Ma is doing her puja. It'll take her half an hour. Do you mind waiting for sometime. We generally don't disturb her during this time"
"No no don't.I'll wait. Can we meet the kids?"
As they walked she asked him other things about Kaveri. "Nah, she never got married. She was hardly nineteen when started working on this place, about six months after her father's demise. She gave this place any and everything she had. Initially there was a shortage of funds, but that by God's grace got managed subsequently. We have got 127 children right now. She also has plans to build an old age home now. Ma means everything to Jayant House"

In her heart she was dying every moment. The wait seemed like thousands of years. Each second took ages to pass. However it became easier with the children. Then Taarush called her aside for a moment.
"Its too much of a coincidence, how you came here casually and found Ma. There is however something that I think I should tell you"
"What?"
The expression on his face made her uneasy. "Ma has Leukemia"
The words fell on her, one by one, the last one buried her beneath its weight. It didn't let her rise again. She was totally numb.
"Blood Cancer. It was recently diagnosed. She is however refusing to take any treatment. In vain we have tried to persuade her but she refuses to budge. She means the world to us. We cannot afford to lose her. Jayant House cannot do without her. Its here because she nurtures it with her love. She is Ma to all of us. Please do something if you can. Try and convince her. The doc say she has months to live. The treatment may make a lot of difference."

She was listening but nothing he said was making sense. Nothing was sinking in.Why? To meet your daughter after more half a century only to find out she has few months to live. This was a bad dream. A horrid nightmare. She needed to wake up.
It was becoming too much to take.

"Ma is almost done.You can meet her" some lady came in and informed.

"Lets go. Its time" Taarush said.

"Its time" she repeated.

INCOMPLETE Chapter 7

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 8

"And please Phuphaji, please look into it earnestly. I cant tell you the reason. But it matters a lot and lot to me. Please"
Her phuphaji was an IPS officer posted in Lucknow. It wasn't difficult for him to find out Kaveri even though she had no substantial information about her. Phuphaji had promised help and agreed to do it confidentially. He and Bua were very fond of their confused niece.
It was a pleasant day. She decided to visit Jayant House.
The address wasn't difficult. After a few turns, things started looking familiar.
She believed it was Deja vu. She hadn't been to this area before.
She asked no one, took help from no one and before long, her feet had led her to stand in front of a gate.
"Jayant House" read the board.

In a dream she had entered these gates. The place, the building, it was all there before. Suddenly the world transformed itself into another. She was seeing things, hearing voices. A hundred people talking, a hundred visions sweeping before her eyes. She hid her face fell down on her knees.
"Hey whats wrong?Are you alright? Whats happening?" someone took her by the shoulders and helped her.
The visions stopped. She opened her eyes. Taarush stood before her, completely shocked.
"What the hell happened? Are you alright? I'll call a doc immediately:"
She stopped him. "Nah am absolutely alright. I think its the sun. Got a little dizzy. Am fine"
He gave her a "I don't trust you" look
"Arre baba, I'm telling you I am fine. Wont you take me inside?"
He was still uncertain but led her inside.
The corridors appeared overwhelmed but a picture on the walls paralyzed her.
"That's Ma with her beloved father."

The phone rang, kept ringing.She received it in a trance. It was Badi Ma.
"His name was Jayant. Jayant Shekhar Singh. Forgive me..." she hung up.
Taarush inquired again if she was alright.
"Yes. So this is Ma and her father you were telling me"
"Yup, thats the man, whose dream Ma has lived all her life. This was his house once upon a time. He worked for the British Government but had planned to retire and turn this place into a children's home. Unfortunately he died in a stampede at the Kumbh in 1942. Ma was very young then, but still she gathered up all her courage, sold every belonging, left every comfort and came here to set up the ashram. We've come a long way since then."

Her heart had sunk as she stared at the picture of the man and his entire universe gathered up in his arms.
Her lost world came back to her.
"What was his name?"
"Jayant" replied Taarush "Jayant Shekhar Singh. And that little angel,Ma, her name is.."

"Kaveri" replied the father.

INCOMPLETE Chapter 6

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4  Chapter 5 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

It had been years since she had last visited the Hanuman temple.
She dreaded coming here in the early years, and when she had finally mustered up the courage, her family had no explanation as to how she knew ever nook and corner of the temple. She even told them how the temple came into existence. Which on verification turned out to be true. It was a mystery then. Today the unusual truth had become a usual part of their lives.
She noticed a group of young and exceptionally well behaved and happy children as she entered the temple premises. They were in the company three young adults,a woman and two men. Inspite of the tempest raging inside her, she couldn't help but smile. She loved children, loved them since ages, loved them through lives.
After the darshan, she went to the children to give them the prasad. They were wonderfully warm.
In no time she became one of them.
As the children proceeded to do the darshan, one little girl came back and sat in her lap.
"You are not doing the darshan baba?" she asked the child
"Ma says pray to God only when you remember him. I am not remembering him now"
Funny how that sounded so familiar
"Where is your Ma baby?"
"At home, she is old na. Doesn't keep well"
She was now getting an idea. These children were probably from some home. But it impressed her how they were so well taken care of.
"Whats your name?" she asked.
Again the simple question tore apart the fabric of her mind.
"Call me Didi. alright? Whats yours?"
"Divya. I am four years old. And I can write full ABCD"
She laughed and hugged the child, overwhelmed with loved.
The rest of the children came back, Divya freed herself from her embrace and ran to them.
One of the men accompanying them came to her.
"So you are fond of children it seems." He smiled warmly.
"Yes" she said. "They are beautiful in all their being. Their love is uninhibited and pure. I love children."
He looked at her intently
"Ma thinks exactly the same. Its nice to come across people like you once in a while. Divya was very comfortable in your company"
She smiled and took the prasad he offered. "Yes, I am thankful to God that kids are able to tolerate me. They are a major source of my happiness. Tell me about them. Are they from some school?"
"They are God's children. They don't have parents. But they have a huge family. In Ma, in us and in each other. We are from the Jayant House if you know. I wont like to call it an orphanage. Its a home for children."
She was touched by his words. He was living a life she had always dreamed to live. She was envious and at the same time in complete awe of these people.
"Thats amazing. I'd love to visit sometime soon. If thats allowed I mean."
He laughed. "Allowed? You'll be welcomed with open arms. Warmth in your heart is the only criterion required for entering Jayant House mam"
"Thats nice to hear. May I know the address?'
"Ofcourse" he said and explained her the address in detail."Although you can enter without a prob, but still in case if something bothers, call for me, my name is Taarush."
"Nice to meet you Taarush" they shook hands.
"And you are?" He enquired.
The damned terrible question. She hesitated but knew she couldn't avoid it but she couldn't answer it either.
"The Lunatic" she replied, he laughed in confused surprise.
"Haha? No but really? What..."
"Ah leave it.I'll tell you when I come there. Its a long story. Know me as the lunatic for now"
"Umm.. ok... as you say mam" he gave her a bewildered smile."You stay here?"
"Ah.. am staying at the camps abhi, till the Kumbh"
"Ah lovely, enjoying yourself?"
"Yeah. Kind of"
They chatted for some more time. She was surprised to know that he was a software engineer by profession but had dedicated himself to this service.
"I really appreciate your zeal Taarush. I'm highly envious"
He laughed again."Come to Jayant House. You'll never cease to be surprised.That lady there is a lawyer in Allahabad High Court and the man is an MBA from California"
"Thats absolutely remarkable!! but I also think they are waiting for you. I must not keep you any longer. I'll visit Jayant House as soon as I possibly can."
They took each others leave, she waved to the cherubs.
As she walked back to the camp, she knew she felt better than she had in a long time.

INCOMPLETE Chapter 5

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4

They sat together for another hour. The Grandma got up to go inside advising the same to her.

"Badi Ma" she called, Grandma turned

"I know you know it all." Badi ma was motionless

 "I know you know how Kaveri's father died and when. I know you know his name. I know you know him by face as well. You haven't ever forgotten anything. I wonder how you thought I was going to believe you."

Badi ma opened her mouth but words couldn't come out.

"I understand the dread that the family has. That in case I find Kaveri, the consequences can be disastrous. You think I'd probably become another person altogether. And you think that if I don't find her I'd probably get over in some time and return back to being me."

 She stood up and turned to face her grandmother. "But you probably also realize that you are betraying a father and his daughter. For whatever reason you are committing a sin that your God might not chose to deliver you from. It is his decision that I am standing here. She is purpose of my standing here. You tell me Kaveri can solve the rest of this puzzle. Yes she can. But what about the pieces that you are hiding in your depths?"

The silence between them pierced their hearts.

"You are a parent. You have witnessed the misery and helplessness of seeing your child in agony. You have lost your child before your own eyes.And I know there hasn't been a single day, when you haven't wished him to be back. Is it difficult for you to fathom what I am going through? Or perhaps you can't because you see me as a child. You can hide whatever you chose to Badi Ma, but you also know I am going to find her. And that will be before the Kumbh celebrates its last day."

Badi Ma was still silent, but was speaking through her tears. 

"I understand. You need not share anything with me. But don't lie to me either. In any case, you'll meet Kaveri soon."

She turned and walked the other way, deciding to face the crowd on her own now.

Grandmother watched as she disappeared into the crowd. She knew the words were said not by her grand daughter but by the man whose identity she had been hiding all these years. She knew the father's patience had ended.

She knew she was going to meet Kaveri soon.